How to find your dead friend

Some few years ago, a very dear friend of mine who lived in another state passed away. Being not acquainted with her family, and unable to attend the funeral, I had no way of knowing anything about after she passed on. So I started trying to find my friend, and Boy oh boy! I never thought finding a dead person would be so hard. Yikes! So, if you ever find yourself on a similar search, here's some info to help get started.

First, waste no time!! The longer you wait, the harder your search is going to be. Information gets buried and it does NOT get easier to find when that happens.

Second, gather up your information. Legal spelling of their first and last name, where they died, and if at all possible the exact date of death. If you don't have the exact date, at least narrow the field to within a week or two.

Third, let your fingers do the walking. If you have the information listed above, go straight to the Social Security Death Index. If that yields no results, look up the public records of the county where your friend died, as well as the obituary archives and possibly any relevant articles of the local newspapers for that area. If you are lucky, there will be an obituary with the postmortem information you need. WRITE DOWN EVERYTHING YOU LEARN!!!

Fourth, start making phone calls. See if you can find any names of relations that you might be able to call and ask. Bug the newspapers. If the passing was more than 2 or 3 years ago, call the local papers and ask them to check their obituary archives. Call the cemeteries and funeral homes. Most people will bend over backward to help you when they know you are searching for a loved one.

Now this is going to sound horrible, but if your loved one died by suicide or other unnatural means, it's actually lucky for you, because your job just got a LOT easier.
What you do in this case is to call the county coroner's office in the county where they died, with their name/date/place of death. The Coroner's office will be able to tell you which funeral home/cemetery was responsible for your loved one, and can provide the number if you ask real nice. Then all you need do is call the home, and learn what you need to know.